Photo film!

Check out this 4 min picture synopsis of my time in Bangladesh so far!

Back to the tin shed!

Well I graduated from my (dts) Ywam discipleship program on Friday and today is my first day back in the tin shed with Shompa! 

    I know now why God directed me to the DTS program and I thought I'd share :) one was to meet and build relationships with other believers who are also passionate about expanding Gods Kingdom in Bangladesh. I met some amazing people who have given everything in obedience to the call has placed on their hearts. 
     I visited one family a few weeks ago who God had called out of their comfort zone of their family and home village to an unknown area for them in order to reach Bhuddist and Hindu people. They met us outside their home with the biggest brightest smiles of joy I had seen in a long time, and they warmly invited us in for tea, bananas and samutcha's (triangle fried treats). 
    When we entered their house I was caught off guard by the severe empty-ness. They had nothing. One tin shed with nothing but a shelf of a few belongings in the corner and a straw mat on the floor they used for sleeping and eating on. No fan, no water filter, no blankets, just blank. I wiped a few tears away while the couple wasn't looking as I imagined them and their 5 year old son all squeezing on this thin straw mat to sleep. Whenever the electricity goes out at night I usually get so hot from the fan being off, and agitated by mosquitoes that I can't sleep until it comes on again. I can't imagine never having a fan. The joy in these servants of the Lord was overwhelming, inspiring and convicting. And this is only one of the families who I am now connected with thanks to Ywam! I am now connected with believers all over bangladesh that I dont know how I would have met by myself. 

     Besides my new connections, God answered another question of mine which was the "why". God, why did you bring me here? I knew He wanted me to shine His light and be an example of Jesus to people who had none, but I didn't really have a clear vision. During the last 6 months, I have gotten to soak in the prescence of God and connect with his heart. He used the people that I met and a few specific experiences to direct me. When I came to Bangladesh I had in mind that I would be doing straight on evangelism. But now I know that Gods plan for me in Bangladesh is discipling people who are already Christians to go out and reach their own people with the Good news. 

Even though Bangladesh is less than one percent Christians, in a country of over 157 million people, less than one percent is still a nice size.
      I know that Gods heart for me is to inspire/ encourage/teach/mentor this group of people to go out and reach the unreached in Bangladesh! I am exited by this new step God has allowed me to see! I dont know exactly what method God will use me to disciple but i know that i will. I still do not know how long God wants me here, but i know that revival is coming in Bangladesh and I want to be here when it does! 

Street evangelism/ kids ministry

Lately my outreach team has been doing street evangelism. We walk around and just pray and see where the holy spirit takes us. Sometimes we are invited in to someone's house ( it's quite common since we have 2 foreigners in our group). But sometimes we just start singing on the side of the street till we get a crowd and start doing dramas, sharing testimonies and preaching the gospel. That can be quite a risky business in a Muslim country, but I'm so proud of my team as they boldly and confidently share the Gospel whenever God guides them to. The picture below is after one of those times... All of these kids come from Muslim families, but that day they and their parents watched as they heard the Gospel and sang songs to Jesus! Hallelujah!! 

Street boys

The other day my outreach team went prayer walking around a railway station. My fellow ywamer Shanto and I found these two lil raskles wondering around being mischievous and trying to get some money. Shanto bought them some biscuits and water and we sat down with them to make sure they actually ate them and didn't try resell them but also to hear their stories. The boy whose face u can't see, dad died and mom went home to their village and left him at the station. He told us in a tuff voice that he didn't want to go anyway and he would rather stay and make money. His name is Ridoye which means heart. He was only 9 years old but on his arms were marks that I recognize all too well from my friend who was a cutter. The boy looking at you in the picture, dad also died but his mom re-married. After the new marriage his mom did not like him anymore. She would beat him severely until one day she told him to just go away and not come back. The boys beg for food everyday and neither of them have had a bath in over a month. 

My heart grieves for these boys and yet I know there are so many more just like them. Please pray with me as I ask the Lord what He wants me to do to help. My mind is full of ideas of starting a hostel, school, home or orphanage but I only want to do what God wants me to. Please pray!

times in the temple

Sooo it's been awhile since my last update. I could try to blame the lack of electricity and Internet but its mostly my busyness with the discipleship training program. DTS is made up of 3 months lecture phase and then a 3 month outreach phase. I'm currently on the outreach. A place our team prayed about and felt like the Lord was leading us to. The community of people we are with now in the south part of Bangladesh are  Buddhist. We were invited to stay among them even though they knew we are Christians since we came as students. Our cover was to say we are just students studying their culture, language, food and religion. Which we are, but we are also prayer walking like crazy claiming this place for Jesus and building relationships to shine Gods light and love on all who come across our path. We got the word from God before we left that He was going to do more than we can ask or imagine on this trip. And He already has! We were only here one week when the temple Guru INVITED us to do worship songs, dramas and even tell a Bible story and he volunteered to invite the people living nearby to come and and watch. After watching us get hard at work cleaning up the temple and it's grounds He asked us if we had a picture of Jesus to look at. He wanted to know this Jesus that we served. None of us actually had a picture on hand of Jesus which was odd to him since all his gods have many pictures and even statues that he bows down to and worships and sacrifices food to on a daily basis. BUT we did have a Jesus film :) He agreed to inviting the people inside his temple to watch the Jesus film!! I would have never imagined seeing a scene like this in my life but we had the Jesus film playing right next to a life size statue of buddha. I was so excited at first, but soon my excitement lessened when in the middle of the movie Guru got up and bowed down to his idol of buddha right in front of the entire crowd of people. It broke my heart to see him turning away from the movie about the creator to worship something that was created. I couldn't believe my eyes, but then it hit me...I was looking at a life size picture of what my heart does every day.  How often do I turn away from God to focus on something lesser? Nearly everyday I do this at some point. I get angry over something small, I stop trusting and worry, I focus on what I need to get done instead of the person needing love in front of me, all day everyday I am confronted with the same situation. Who will I bow down to? People? Time? Pressure? Comfort? Success? Money? Food? OR the one who loves me and gave Himself up for me that I may have life abundantly.  When I allow my mind to be consumed with anything other than Him, I'm no better off than this Guru bowing down to a plastic statue. I was so convicted and pray that the severity of this conviction lasts forever. 
So unfortunately our favorite Guru did not come to know the Lord on our trip. But I have a feeling God isn't finished with him yet.  We built some solid relationships with Rakhine people and the door is wide open for us to return anytime we wish! And next time we have invitation to stay with them in their houses! We shared the Gospel with a few families and more intensely on a personal level, but no one accepted Christ as their savior. There were some hard core strongholds among them that we were not able to breakdown in just the short time  we were there. Pray with me that God will send Bengali Christians to live among the Rakhine people and point them to Christ's light and love on a daily basis. 

Lessons

Well I’ve been in Bangladesh for about 2 and a half months so far. God has already taught me so much about obedience, prayer and love, but the biggest lesson of all is that there is SO much I don’t know :) Since living in such close quarters with my beloved Muslim neighbors I realize now more than ever my need for knowledge not only about Islam, but also at practical ways to share the Gospel with them. Before I left Michigan I knew that YWAM (youth with a mission) was a possibility as they have a discipleship training program in Bangladesh. I was not certain however, that was what God wanted for me. All I knew before was that God wanted me here in Bangladesh. Now, I have peace and excitement for this new learning phase of my journey. Thankfully, I will not be too far from Shompa and my neighbors, so I will be able to visit them on the weekends. I’m also praising God that He allowed me to find some of my old friends from last time I was in Bangladesh. These people lived in a slum that was knocked down by Police so I assumed the people were gone as well. But they are still there and still begging just in a slightly different location! I really want to build stronger relationships with them in the future and am praying about the best way to reach out to them. 

The girl in this picture, Noonhowa, was one of the girls who attended Shompa and I’s class. Her dad left her mom for another woman and her mother became a prostitute.  Such a sweet girl! She didn’t know her age but we guessed about 8 years old. My heart sank when I found out that she got married while I was gone. If you are poor and uneducated in Bangladesh there are not many options for you. Shompa and I want to see the kids learning again but we need a room away from the distraction of the street as well as a teacher who can devote more time. Pray for Shompa and I as we figure out the best way to help the community near the railgate. 

Amar Apa (my sister)

All four walls of our tin shed room are shared. On the other side of one wall is a rickshaw shed. (A rickshaw is a bike with 2 big wheels on the back that support a bench and its also one of the main ways of transportation in Bangladesh). Tired rickshaw drivers come to the shed to eat some cheap food before heading back to the streets. Another wall we share with a family, one with a couple, and on the other side of the last wall lies a busy, bustling, hallway shared with many people who are safe to say LOUD :)  Directly across our hallway is another family with 2 children. I do not often see the father of the household, but I often interact with Bilkus the mother and I now call her Apa which means older sister. If our door is open and their door is open we can see directly into each others room and this family is, I believe, safe to say the loudest. So thats a lot of people and you can imagine the noise that comes along with all the people. Its pretty much consistent, the noise, and you sort of get used to it after awhile and tune the majority of it out. 

Shompa was in the bathroom and I was getting ready for the day when a much different noise arose above the normal bustle. A pattern of struggling groans coming from the hallway wall. I open my door and see a crowd has started to gather across the hall. People are standing and watching as my Apa groans with pain on her bed.  I get close and see her face is limp on one side and know she is having a stroke or heart attack.  Her son who is around 9 years old hands me his mothers cell phone and speaks rushed Bangla which my brain interprets after what feels like ages as “Auntie do something! Call my Dad!” I’ve rarely ever seen his dad and his dad does not speak English at all. My first thought was “call 911...oh wait what is the number in Bangladesh for 911?” If you have ever had a moment like this you know how the mind races. A thousand different thoughts rush in and out of your mind in a matter of seconds. The next moments are now a blur of chaotic events in my mind but one that remains clear is running around the neighborhood with Shompa in tow trying to find a pharmacy with a doctor available. While running my thoughts focused on one thing Bilkus Apa can not die. My apa, my neighbor, my friend, she has not heard the gospel. She does not know that Jesus died for her and loves her with a deep, everlasting, unconditional love. 

How urgent is the message I carry? That WE as Christians carry? I think of the emergency rush I felt and running with all I have from pharmacy to pharmacy, how does that compare to my urgency in sharing the Gospel? Even though a heart attack is a serious matter, what is more serious? Pain in the present or torment for eternity? There is nothing more serious than the message of the Gospel. I’m praising God for giving me a second chance with Bilkus, she is home now and other than exhausted she is doing fine, but my heart is heavy for my neighbors salvation. Even while I right this, since my room has less of a crowd than hers, my Auntie is praying Namag to Allah. Please pray for wisdom in how and when to share Christ with them and that I will represent Him well in my daily life. Thank you all SO much for your prayers!!!

The Joy of Obedience

This is just a picture from my last stay in Bangladesh and some of the kids Shompa and I taught. I will put some pictures of my new place as soon as I get a way. None of these people are in the same place anymore as the police came broke down their houses and would not allow them to live on the side of the street any longer. 

This slum is my home. I love it here. I’m clumsily finding my way how to live. I feel really un-coordinated with many daily tasks like bathing with the bucket and washing my clothes by hand while keeping my orna(scarf thing) in place. But I love my neighbors who act more like family. I have 4 older sisters, an auntie, 3 brothers, and lots of little ones toddling around who call me auntie :) They have adopted me as their own and treat me with such kindness. They are all Muslim so please pray for them with me. 2 of my brothers attended school at the Mosk so they have memorized the entire Koran. There is still so much I do not know. But I have many teachers and the Holy Spirit to help me :)

I was studying John 15 in the states, memorizing it slowly. As I’m settling into a routine here in Bangladesh I’ve resumed my study. Yesterday, I memorized “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you: Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love just as I have obeyed my Fathers commands and remain in His love.” This is a great passage for me to know especially because obedience has been my struggle in the past and its my desire to obey in all things at all times. Its good to remember that when I obey it is an act of love for my heavenly Father and it is how I abide. It was a struggle for me to obey when God told me to come back to Bangladesh and it was only God who changed my heart. Today I memorized the next verse “I am telling you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.” This makes so much sense to me now. God has given me more joy in this Bangladeshi slum then I’ve had in years. The reason God asks us to obey Him is actually for our own good. He desires us to have an abundant life and the most abundant life is when we are full of His joy. I actually remember the last time I felt this type of fullness of joy. It was at camp Mel Trotter with all my crazy inner city kids! I did life with them 24/7, it was dirty the food was nasty and there was not much time at all for myself, but I was filled with so much love for the kids and joy from God on a daily basis.

I think that the biggest ministry we can have is one of presence. Living, working, eating, cleaning, sharing the Gospel through doing life with people. Having joy when the ones around you don’t. That is what God has made me for, and I think maybe all of us were made that way. I have had other ministries in the past, but most involve working then leaving, and none compare to the ministry of presence. That is after all what Jesus did. He came. Gave up His luxurious heaven and came to a dirty earth, full of sinners. He entered as a baby, had to learn everything, He grew up, walked, lived, cried, ate, drank and served with those He came to save. I’m not saying everyone is called to go to a slum or a different country. I’m saying that we will have the best life, the most joy when we obey God’s commands. No matter how much it seems He calls us to give up, no matter how crazy, or difficult it may seem. When we obey, our joy is complete. So simple. And so true!!! I encourage/ challenge you today..obey Him! Even if you do not understand completely., after all His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Do what He is asking of you, seriously it is an adventure and a joy!

Bangladeshi Baby

Well I’m here. Bangladesh. A dizzy, sleep deprived Erica stepped off the plane at 8am Friday morning. Lucky for me, it was one of the two days Shompa has off of work in the week so she was able to meet me at the airport. Sweet Shompa paid the fee to greet me inside the airport even when I told her it was not necessary. When I saw the crazy packed out crowd gathered at the entrance to the airport gate I nearly teared up with thankfulness that my friend was a stubborn Bangladeshi and hadn’t listened to me. (This Bangladeshi girl is more than a friend she is more like a sister and I admire SO many things in her). At that point I knew it would have been impossible to find my friend while dragging my broken suitcase along behind. The wheel stopped rolling somewhere in Switzerland and then the handle broke before I caught the metro in London...so much for my black friday special luggage. The cheapest option when arriving in Dhaka is to walk as far away from the airport as possible before getting a rickshaw or CNG (small green taxi), but since neither of us could hardly carry my sad suitcase, and the crowd was denser than Disney we decided to hail a taxi on the spot. So we drive only about a 15 minute drive from the airport but into a whole new world. A world I slightly remember walking to maybe once or twice in my last stay in Bangladesh, but living in it is something unknown to this spoiled American. We drive past the big concrete roads, the nice foreigner houses that I used to live in and onto a rocky, dusty path filled with rickshaws, a few cars, and A LOT of people. My mind raced back to when my dad came to visit Bangladesh, and he described one of his outings to a rickshaw driver named Shonju’s house. He said it seemed like every corner they turned from one street onto the next was like a different level of poverty. Well Dad...we turned a lot of corners. Shompa lives behind a rickshaw resting place where they take a break from the heat of the day. We pull up to the place where finally the car can not manage to drive on and its time to get out. She owns a room and shares a stove and bathroom with 3 other families. To my pampered American eyes this place looks like the worst of any ghetto, a grimy slum. Not even the poorest people in America live in these conditions. But to my sweet Bangladeshi sister, this place is home, something she has slowly saved up to buy over time, she is proud of her room, her dishes, her pots and pans, and her bed that she fixed with nails and a borrowed hammer.   She is smiling from ear to ear as she shows me her things and where she has made space for me to put mine.  The joy that emulates from this girl brings tears to my eyes. I love Shompa dearly and I am so happy to have her as my Bangladeshi sister and now roommate, but I seriously have no idea how to live in these conditions!  No fridge, no faucet, no toilet or toilet paper, definitely no microwave, no shower, no hot water, and ofcourse no washing machine. I’m like an infant in this world I can not do anything including speak. I am the entertainment/laughing stock of her neighbors but I don’t blame them. Things that they have done their whole life and see as common sense, I have to be taught and shown by example a few times before I get the hang of it. This morning 2 people helped me to boil water for my coffee, and they laughed historically the entire time.  Soon I hear them telling the neighbors the last few Bangla words I attempted and the laughing starts again. Their laugher is catching, I can’t help but laugh too even though I know this means I’m laughing at my own stupidity. This afternoon another lady stood watching as I attempted to wash my camise (shirt), I know I look ridiculous but I seriously was doing my best! Soon there is a crowd of 5 people laughing. The first lady finally couldn’t take my clumsiness any more and took over as the crowd erupts laughing. Well, at least someone is having fun. Who knew washing clothes could provide such entertainment?! Wow, the list of things I do not know is unbelievably long. 

Mr. Atheist. . .

So it has been about a month since writing. And honestly until now i was not sure why i could not bring myself to update this blog. I mean I’ve been traveling all over Europe, seeing amazing sights, eating delicious foods, meeting with friends who i haven’t seen in ages. There should be plenty to write  about right? Well yeah, but in all these travels i’ve had a strange sluggish attitude. My mom noticed it right away when we spoke  one night a few days after I arrived in Spain so around 2 weeks ago. She asked what was wrong...”you don’t seem that excited” she said and I was thinking “yea i’m not excited” what is my problem?? Everything was perfect. Surrounded by friends who love God, in a safe, warm, loving, home with family eating delicious spanish dishes.....i was stumped. I left the question in God’s hands. God, am I doing something wrong? and where are you? why cant i feel you near? I didn’t get an answer. 

This weekend I decided to take another side trip and try this thing i heard about called couch surfing. I decided to go to Porto, Portugal. because it was the nearest country that I havent been to. So i found someone willing to host me in Porto, went to the bus station and found out that actually it was a lot cheaper to go to the capitol city Lisbon, so without having a place to stay....i bought the ticket. This weekend I went to a country where I didn’t know anybody, I was not surrounded by Christians, I didn’t always actually have food when i wanted it, I didn’t actually always feel safe, sometimes I didn’t know where I was and I was alone, most of the weekend I was surrounded by people who who do not believe that God exists, I got less sleep than I’ve had this entire trip yet I feel more energized than ever, closer to God than I have felt in a long time. God's presence was tangible to me in Portugal. The Holy Spirit was speaking clearly prompting me with words to share, and actions to take, I feel refreshed. My host for saturday and sunday was an athiest. I did not  mention to him that I was a Christian until a whole day of sight seeing and conversations had passed and He asked me over bread  and olives..”can i ask you a question”  “what do you believe?” i smiled and thanked God silently for this divine appointment. We had a long conversation about our different believes and he said he wished he was wrong. and also that before me he had never heard someone say that they love God. the next day was sunday and after randomly finding out through facebook that a friend who i hadn’t seen in 10 years (Brandon Rookus) was about 12 minutes away serving with ABWE at an evangelical church, I invited my host to join me. He politely declined in the moment, but I prayed that night that God would invade his heart and low and behold...the next day sitting in babtist church was my host the atheist. he actually  told me the day before that there was only catholic churches in Portugal. He did not accept Christ as his savior but he said his eyes were opened to a world he did not know existed.  Also, the sermon was on faith, which was pretty cool I thought. 

So now I’m on the bus back to Pamplona, I didn’t sleep last night since i was on the train but I still have more energy than ever. I actually teared up a bit while thanking God for the weekend He planned.  And I think...God has proven His point with me once again. He didn’t create me to be comfortable, safe, well fed, well slept, and surrounded by Christian friends all t time. My purpose on earth is not traveling and seeing new places and trying new foods, my purpose is to be near to the broken hearted, to glorify God with how i live and to be a light in the darkness. And for the longest time my light has been shining in already brightly lit places. THAT was why I had been so tired. I was having fun, but I was not fulfilling the purpose that God created me for. My light shines brightest in darkness. Thank you God for the reminder. Perfect timing as I head out to the darkest of places in a few days. I needed that. If you think about it pray for Mr. Portugal :) I have a feeling he will not be Mr. Atheist for long :)