"Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me "
These lyrics from Jeremy Camps song ring in my ear as I read through this old blog. I haven't needed to update this blog in quite some time as I have been living in the states and been able to update most of you in person. Well...times are changing once again! God told me September 13th, 2011 that I would be going to Bangladesh. God doesn't usually speak to me like that..and when I say speak I don't mean audibly. I mean deep in my Spirit a prompting/whisper/conviction that is as clear to me as if it were a voice. I could probably count the times on my hands where it has been so clear. I grieved for quite some time. I did NOT want to go back to Bangladesh. It is smelly, dirty, I can't speak the language for the life of me, I don't know anyone except my friend Shompa, I have no job, and I could go on and on, but the biggest downer of all is the spiritual atmosphere...it is dark, heavy, idol worshipping, women abusing, place. So I selfishly cried for myself and all that I would have to give up. It's embarrassing to write this but I cried out of self pity off and on for about two weeks. After a good bit of wallowing, I said ok, Bangladesh it is, what is this life anyways if we live it for ourselves and not for Him? God gave me this life, it is not mine, it is His to do with what He pleases. SO if it pleases Him I will go. I've had more than a year now to prepare so most of my friends and family know that I'm going. Many ask "what will you be doing?" well... I don't really know. then they ask "well how long will you be there?" that's a great question too. Unfortunately (or maybe for my benefit) I don't really know that either. ALL I know is that God wants me to go. So I am going. December 13th is the take off date. I do know that God wants me to shine light in a dark place, to be near to the broken hearted, to be Jesus to people who are searching for Him. How that is going to look...i really have no idea. Lucky for me, I don't have to know, all I have to do is walk by faith not by sight.
