Silence

Silence.

The quiet is so loud I can't hear myself think.

Silence.

No one is here but me.

Silence.

My heart finally has the chance to speak.

And tell me of all dreams that will never be.

Silence.

Deafening my ears to all that rings free.

Silence.

This is why I have brought you here.

I want your ear, not your mouth, just be.

Together with me.

Silence.

Christ in me

           I love Bangladesh. I just got back from my refreshing trip to the States. Getting settled back into life in Bangladesh was quite an easier adjustment this time around. Maybe its that I can speak a bit of Bangla, maybe its the cooler weather, since its technically winter time its around 70 degrees out. Not to rub it in or anything ;-) Maybe its that this time around, I was not received by strangers but by friends, or maybe its that this time around I have a vision of what God’s plan for me is in this country.  
         But honestly, as I was walking down the dirty, traffic filled streets today I took a deep breath of that smelly Bangladesh air and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Christ in me loves it here. Christ in me, tears up as He walks down the street and sees beggar after beggar with out stretched arms crying for money, for food, for Allah. Christ in me, has compassion for each and every child abandoned by their parents and left to fend for themselves. Christ in me, has unconditional love for every person in this Nation no matter how against Him they are.  Christ in me wants to give all of them life abundantly and Christ in me will do whatever it takes to see that His loved ones come back to Him. And as I have given more and more of myself over to Christ, His desires have become mine. And that is why its been easier this time around. I no longer try to love Bangladesh on my own, I am honest, I tell God straight forwardly that I can’t handle it, I give up, YOU have to do it. YOU have to love through me. And He does, and that is why I can be here and that is why I can love Bangladesh. 

Photo film!

Check out this 4 min picture synopsis of my time in Bangladesh so far!

Back to the tin shed!

Well I graduated from my (dts) Ywam discipleship program on Friday and today is my first day back in the tin shed with Shompa! 

    I know now why God directed me to the DTS program and I thought I'd share :) one was to meet and build relationships with other believers who are also passionate about expanding Gods Kingdom in Bangladesh. I met some amazing people who have given everything in obedience to the call has placed on their hearts. 
     I visited one family a few weeks ago who God had called out of their comfort zone of their family and home village to an unknown area for them in order to reach Bhuddist and Hindu people. They met us outside their home with the biggest brightest smiles of joy I had seen in a long time, and they warmly invited us in for tea, bananas and samutcha's (triangle fried treats). 
    When we entered their house I was caught off guard by the severe empty-ness. They had nothing. One tin shed with nothing but a shelf of a few belongings in the corner and a straw mat on the floor they used for sleeping and eating on. No fan, no water filter, no blankets, just blank. I wiped a few tears away while the couple wasn't looking as I imagined them and their 5 year old son all squeezing on this thin straw mat to sleep. Whenever the electricity goes out at night I usually get so hot from the fan being off, and agitated by mosquitoes that I can't sleep until it comes on again. I can't imagine never having a fan. The joy in these servants of the Lord was overwhelming, inspiring and convicting. And this is only one of the families who I am now connected with thanks to Ywam! I am now connected with believers all over bangladesh that I dont know how I would have met by myself. 

     Besides my new connections, God answered another question of mine which was the "why". God, why did you bring me here? I knew He wanted me to shine His light and be an example of Jesus to people who had none, but I didn't really have a clear vision. During the last 6 months, I have gotten to soak in the prescence of God and connect with his heart. He used the people that I met and a few specific experiences to direct me. When I came to Bangladesh I had in mind that I would be doing straight on evangelism. But now I know that Gods plan for me in Bangladesh is discipling people who are already Christians to go out and reach their own people with the Good news. 

Even though Bangladesh is less than one percent Christians, in a country of over 157 million people, less than one percent is still a nice size.
      I know that Gods heart for me is to inspire/ encourage/teach/mentor this group of people to go out and reach the unreached in Bangladesh! I am exited by this new step God has allowed me to see! I dont know exactly what method God will use me to disciple but i know that i will. I still do not know how long God wants me here, but i know that revival is coming in Bangladesh and I want to be here when it does! 

Street evangelism/ kids ministry

Lately my outreach team has been doing street evangelism. We walk around and just pray and see where the holy spirit takes us. Sometimes we are invited in to someone's house ( it's quite common since we have 2 foreigners in our group). But sometimes we just start singing on the side of the street till we get a crowd and start doing dramas, sharing testimonies and preaching the gospel. That can be quite a risky business in a Muslim country, but I'm so proud of my team as they boldly and confidently share the Gospel whenever God guides them to. The picture below is after one of those times... All of these kids come from Muslim families, but that day they and their parents watched as they heard the Gospel and sang songs to Jesus! Hallelujah!! 

Street boys

The other day my outreach team went prayer walking around a railway station. My fellow ywamer Shanto and I found these two lil raskles wondering around being mischievous and trying to get some money. Shanto bought them some biscuits and water and we sat down with them to make sure they actually ate them and didn't try resell them but also to hear their stories. The boy whose face u can't see, dad died and mom went home to their village and left him at the station. He told us in a tuff voice that he didn't want to go anyway and he would rather stay and make money. His name is Ridoye which means heart. He was only 9 years old but on his arms were marks that I recognize all too well from my friend who was a cutter. The boy looking at you in the picture, dad also died but his mom re-married. After the new marriage his mom did not like him anymore. She would beat him severely until one day she told him to just go away and not come back. The boys beg for food everyday and neither of them have had a bath in over a month. 

My heart grieves for these boys and yet I know there are so many more just like them. Please pray with me as I ask the Lord what He wants me to do to help. My mind is full of ideas of starting a hostel, school, home or orphanage but I only want to do what God wants me to. Please pray!

times in the temple

Sooo it's been awhile since my last update. I could try to blame the lack of electricity and Internet but its mostly my busyness with the discipleship training program. DTS is made up of 3 months lecture phase and then a 3 month outreach phase. I'm currently on the outreach. A place our team prayed about and felt like the Lord was leading us to. The community of people we are with now in the south part of Bangladesh are  Buddhist. We were invited to stay among them even though they knew we are Christians since we came as students. Our cover was to say we are just students studying their culture, language, food and religion. Which we are, but we are also prayer walking like crazy claiming this place for Jesus and building relationships to shine Gods light and love on all who come across our path. We got the word from God before we left that He was going to do more than we can ask or imagine on this trip. And He already has! We were only here one week when the temple Guru INVITED us to do worship songs, dramas and even tell a Bible story and he volunteered to invite the people living nearby to come and and watch. After watching us get hard at work cleaning up the temple and it's grounds He asked us if we had a picture of Jesus to look at. He wanted to know this Jesus that we served. None of us actually had a picture on hand of Jesus which was odd to him since all his gods have many pictures and even statues that he bows down to and worships and sacrifices food to on a daily basis. BUT we did have a Jesus film :) He agreed to inviting the people inside his temple to watch the Jesus film!! I would have never imagined seeing a scene like this in my life but we had the Jesus film playing right next to a life size statue of buddha. I was so excited at first, but soon my excitement lessened when in the middle of the movie Guru got up and bowed down to his idol of buddha right in front of the entire crowd of people. It broke my heart to see him turning away from the movie about the creator to worship something that was created. I couldn't believe my eyes, but then it hit me...I was looking at a life size picture of what my heart does every day.  How often do I turn away from God to focus on something lesser? Nearly everyday I do this at some point. I get angry over something small, I stop trusting and worry, I focus on what I need to get done instead of the person needing love in front of me, all day everyday I am confronted with the same situation. Who will I bow down to? People? Time? Pressure? Comfort? Success? Money? Food? OR the one who loves me and gave Himself up for me that I may have life abundantly.  When I allow my mind to be consumed with anything other than Him, I'm no better off than this Guru bowing down to a plastic statue. I was so convicted and pray that the severity of this conviction lasts forever. 
So unfortunately our favorite Guru did not come to know the Lord on our trip. But I have a feeling God isn't finished with him yet.  We built some solid relationships with Rakhine people and the door is wide open for us to return anytime we wish! And next time we have invitation to stay with them in their houses! We shared the Gospel with a few families and more intensely on a personal level, but no one accepted Christ as their savior. There were some hard core strongholds among them that we were not able to breakdown in just the short time  we were there. Pray with me that God will send Bengali Christians to live among the Rakhine people and point them to Christ's light and love on a daily basis.